If I was asked the questionnaire invented by Marcel Proust, refined by Bernard Pivot, and renewed by James Lipton… these would be my answers as of right now:

Q. What is your favorite word?
A. Heaven. Moreso as a measurement, rather than a location.

Q. What is your least favorite word?
A. Death

Q. What turns you on, excites, or inspires you creatively, spiritually, or emotionally?
A. True love (Puke, I know… but it’s true)

Q. What turns you off?
A. Ignorance.

Q. What sound or noise do you love?
A. Anything to do with music.

Q. What sound or noise do you hate?
A. Alarm clock.

Q. What is your favorite curse word?
A. That would have to be the F-bomb. It’s universal, and a classic. (Sorry mom!)

Q. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
A. There are so many; Architect, Artist, Baseball Player, Historian, Musician, Scientist… Retiree. I fear there is just not enough time.

Q. What profession would you absolutely not like to participate in?
A. I would not like to work in the food industry. I despise avocadoes and everything they stand for!

Q. If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
A. I hope you are pleased that you got to live your life to it’s fullest… now leave the rest up to me.

It’s opening day, Giants fans! I’m looking forward to this season, in hopes to have my passion for the sport re-kindled after an entire off-season devoted to steroids scandals. Of course Barry is injured, but I think we have a good team even with him not in the lineup. And we’ll have a killer team once he is back. So lets go Gigantes! Alouuuuuuuu!!

Update… Finals: San Francisco 4, Los Angeles 2

Vegas baby, Vegas!

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I went to vegas over the weekend with Bryan, Ed, & John. We laughed, almost cried, and certainly had a moment… which is what’s supposed to happen when you go to Vegas, right? Highlights: seeing Carl Cox @ ICE, John and I winning at Craps. Lowlights: getting hit in the head with a beer bottle while seeing Carl Cox @ ICE, John and I losing money at Roulette. Overall was a good trip. Here is a little video (.mpg, 10.9mb) from Carl Cox @ ICE, about the same length of time that I got to see the guy. Are you reeeeeeeeady!

It’s “Bye Bye Baby” time again!

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Well, it’s baseball time again, and while this was only an exhibition game, it’s always fun beating the A’s! I will say however, I have learned to appreciate them and what they accomplish every year. They sure are a fun club to watch, and beat ;). Thanks again Mike for the tix.

Finals: San Francisco 6, Oakland 5, 10 innings

Boy do I feel old. My little sister turns 21 today. Ahhhh, It seems like just yesterday when I pinned her down and shoved corn up her nose. Good times, good times. Anyway, happy 21st birthday Jessica, love ya.

Stolen Invention #1: I used to be so worried about my hair (yes, used to be) that when I would listen to my walkman I would wear my headphones off the back of my head, on my neck. This did not provide the best flexibility, but my hair looked good and I apparently looked good doing it because next thing you know Sony is coming out with headphones made to wear like that. Some Sony executive must’ve been on the bus with me one day, and saw how much of a trend-setter I was. I figure the Sony corporation owes me about $1,569,031 when I factor in interest since 1988. They are going to crap their pants when they get that bill!

This is part of a multi-part series of inventions I have come up with on my own, and were stolen from me.

How come I can’t get Jury duty? I look in the mail every day when I get home, hoping that today will be the day that I am given an excuse to take a vacation from work. If I was on the jury I would constantly raise my hand and ask questions, using a list of the most complex words I could find in the dictionary, so the chick typing it all would get all messed up. I’d also bring a bag of individually wrapped butterscotch candies. Mmmmm, butterscotch.

Why is it that I cannot find a pair of tennis shoes that suits my fancy, and my feetsy? Am I simply just to old and out of touch with where the design of tennis shoes has gone?! It’s not even like I have a safe haven/shoe maker to rely on. Every single designer is off on some weird tangent and pulling designs out of their asses. I mean who buys this stuff? And who thinks this stuff will sell?

And why is it every time I pick my nose, it’s full again in two minutes? Funk dat!